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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in jw22's LiveJournal:

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Monday, September 12th, 2016
2:02 pm
Wah wah
So on Saturday my doorbell rings and there is a man asking if we would consider selling our house. He has a friend who wants to move into our circle and he was going door to door to see if anyone would consider selling. This is what makes my decision difficult.
I know I’m totally crazy, or as mike says, a bowl of spaghetti. But I can’t help it. Ever since we moved here I have hated it and wished we never moved. I still don’t love it but I’m scared about possibly moving back..
So the back-story – we said when we moved here we would give it a shot and if we didn’t like it we would move back (granted I never really gave it a shot to be honest I just complained about how awful it was and how much I missed my “home”). But we definitely agreed that we wanted to make a decision before Michael starts kindergarten because we really want to be settled by then for the long haul. Well, he starts kindergarten this time next year. And if we were to move back to charlotte we defiantly want to build a new house which takes about 8 months so we need to make a decision by October…NEXT MONTH!
SO – why is this such a difficult decision for me? Well several reasons. Charlotte has been my “home” and when we left I had established a really nice group of friends, and our kids had playgroups hanging out together and were friends, and it was just really really nice. I felt like my little family belonged. Well I know the saying “you can never go home again” and I worry about that. Being gone for a few years, have folks moved on? I mean things are always going to be different and not exactly the same way that you left them, but I worry that the world I left and that I have in my head is not going to meet real expectations when I move back. Our best friends whose kids are all the same age as mine, well they used to live in our same community and we could walk to their place and obviously that won’t be the case. Plus they have made some new friends and such so it won’t be like we hang out as much as we used to, or as easily.
So back to bama, I’m not a huge fan of the weather here (it rains A TON), and I’m def not an SEC fan and its odd to go to sports bars and no one knows or cares about the NC teams HA. And our actual house has quirks that make it not the most efficient from a living perspective (and I could build the home exactly the way I want in NC). BUT – I feel like we sorta found this diamond in the rough in our community. The street we live on is a circle with maybe 35 homes or so on it. Everyone knows everyone and they get together a lot, I haven’t because most of these people are SAHM and I work, but they have a book club I just attended, and apparently the women all make an annual trip to Florida. And it’s a mix of older and younger kids (i.e. the older kids can be a babysitting list for the younger ones). There are actually 6 kids in our circle starting kindergarten next year too! And the location is great – walking distance to this big fishing lake, the playground, and the elementary and middle schools. I LOVE the idea of Michael walking with all of our neighbors to elementary school and or riding his bike in a few years. And while I like the flexibility of WFH so that I can get home errands run easier esp. with 3 kids, I miss dressing up, having lunch and coffee with coworkers, having ANY adult interaction throughout the day. And like I stated earlier, the weather sucks, I’m not a fan of our actual house and floor plan, and I just generally miss NC and the culture and extracurricular activities and the closeness of retail/restaurants, etc.
Of course mike is just too logical and told me to right down all my pros and cons and rank them, etc which I totally agree with. BUT, the problem I’m finding is that NC has WAY more quantity of pros, but the ranking of them the higher valued things (like the community, etc) favors bama. So its s quantity versus quality kinda thing. UGH I’m making myself sick worrying about this. And I know it’s not life or death and it’s not permanent, but I want this to be permanent so I feel pressure to make the right decision!
ADIVSE! Thoughts! Esp. those of you who have moved? Or moved and came back? TELL ME WHAT TO DO! Ok thanks!
Thursday, July 14th, 2016
2:13 pm
So it's done. I shipped about 400 ounces of milk to mikes cousin. I sure hope it makes it there frozen!!! I have been stressing and crying about this the last 2 days (which is not helping supply ha). I did however have 2 women thank me for what I'm doing (I was packing the dry ice and this woman asked if she could help in the publix parking lot and I explained what I was doing, and then the lady at the FedEx store). So that made me feel good. I'll feel better come 10:30 tomorrow when I know it got there and is ok.
Thursday, June 30th, 2016
12:18 pm
So I need some advise. Our cousin, as I've written before, has a baby wurh a very rare skin disease called EB. It is heart breaking and challenging and EXPENSIVE. There is no cure and so they will have to deal with this her whole life.

Any who, she called me today asking if I would help in donating breastmilk. She is not able to nurse cause she can't touch her skin, but she had been pumping and bottle feeding. Given she has had to quit her job to care for the baby, and caring for her is a lot of work, she is not able to really maintain pumping.

I really would love to help. I have always been blessed with an abundant supply. I think since this is my third I got kinda lazy and cocky and have not been pumping tons anymore. I personally hate pumping and I have loads in the freezer so I don't feel the need to continue to pump tons extra.

Given Cameron is just turning 6 months, I'm afraid to donate stash now just in case my supply dips or I get sick and it goes away or who knows what. And I still need to nurse at least 6 more months. A friend said I could keep my stash and just giver her the extra I pump now each day . Like I said, I haven't been pumping tons so I'm not sure how much I would have to give her. Is it possible this late in the game to increase my supply? I've thought about pumping on the weekends again and adding another session each day to try to give her more. But again, Cameron is 6 months and I thought at this stage supply goes down usually versus up.

Again I really really want to help as much as I can. From a health perspective obviously breast is best, and financially it's much cheaper than formula so I want to do everything I can, but I also don't want to do it at the detriment of my own baby. Am I over reacting and worrying for no reason? Thanks!!

If anyone is interested in donating milk or money (every dollar helps toward a cure) let me know.

Monday, May 23rd, 2016
11:10 am
Yes it's messy business... And who knew such a science. The book "everybody poops" is a lie. Callie has been having constipation issues since befire Xmas and we just can't get it under control. We went from hard huge painful ones to now 6-10 tiny ones a day! She is miserable, we are miserable and the doc just keeps telling us to increase myralax. She is not the greatest eater and mostly eats carbs. We try fruits and veggies and black beans but it's a crap shoot.,I really want to get this under control mostly for her health but also will make our lives easier and then. Hopefully we can potty train. At this age Michael was already fully trained. Ugh! But I'm afraid to push and then have it blow up in my face.

In non poop news, this is the kids last week at their current school. I decided to switch them to another school where Cameron actually is now. It seems like a fine school and it's much smaller. Fingers crossed the transition goes well and I end up liking it. Worst case I guess I can put them back where they were but I am hoping this will be s good move!

Cameron is doing great, although we hit our 4 month sleep regression and now she is up all night. It's funny.., with your first you are in survival mode and do what you need to only to realize as they get older you may have formed some bad habits. With your second you make s point not to do those things again and with your third you are back to survival mode. So she naps in her carsrat a lot, I nurse her anytime she wakes cause it's easier than patting her all night hoping she will self soothe. But I'm hoping to address that this week. Also this is my first time with a baby and the master being downstairs. I had Mike put the air mattress in her nursery do that when I transition her I can potentially sleep in there if she is waking lots. I also fear she will wake the other 2 and everyone will be miserable. We have several sound machines but as it is sometimes Callie wakes Michael and Vice Versa. Ugh!

Ok I should probably pretend to work now ha !
Tuesday, March 1st, 2016
1:28 pm
So thought I would follow up the sad post with a happy one!! Life is good here... Chaotic and loud and not much sleep but otherwise good! Michael is still kinda in his whiny/attitude phase but he has really come through when I need him the most. He gets himself dressed and ready for school and bed. He does homework with little pushing. He even cleans up messes that Callie makes to help me out. I don't think he gets the credit he deserves all the time but I'm trying to boost him up a bit more. He started a soccer team this weekend. The coaches kept switching out the ball when it went out of bounds so the kids could keep playing, but Michael didn't catch on to that, so at one point he chased the ball all the way down the park and kept kicking it. We had to reel him back in and into the field, Little kids and sports are so cute!

Callie started her terrible 2s early. She is all "I want this and if I don't get it I will yell and cry and freak out for excessive amounts of time in an attempt to wear you down". It's a battle of wills and with 3 kiddos versus me I'm not sure I'm gonna win lol. I plan to pull the diaper this weekend so fingers crossed potty trying goes well and quick so I can have 2 kiddos out of diapers.

Cameron is great... All smiles and coos and just melts my heart. She will start daycare in a month (booo) so I'm trying to soak up all my baby time I can. Now that she is about 2 months I'm trying to establish some sort of routine with 3 but with Mike working late hours it's mostly me cooking and putting everyone to bed alone, it's complete chaos and someone is always crying but we are managing ha!

Still not a huge fan of bama and haven't made any friends here. But I am thankful to be working from home during this time. I can't imagine getting 3 kids and myself ready in the mornings and in the evenings after being in an office. I can cook dinner before I pick them up so all i have to do Is put it in a plate when we get home, and I can get laundry and stuff done during the week so the weekends aren't all work and no play.
Saturday, February 27th, 2016
8:00 am
I feel so bad for mikes cousin. Him and his wife have a 4 yr okd son and have been trying for s second a long time. After 2 miscarriages they finally had s baby girl. But when she was born ion Monday there was something wrong with her skin. She was diagnosed with eb. She is what they call a butterfly child. I'm certainly no expert but basically no one can touch her or they will irritate her skin and cause blisters. They have to change her bandages twice a day and it's so painful they have to give her morphine to do it. There is no cure. She wil have this for the rest of her life.,,, not sure how long that will be. I just can't imagine not ever being able to hug or kiss or touch my baby. I complain when my kids wake in the night or tantrum or whatever but it's such a small problem now.

Not only is this sad, but now they're entire lives have been turned upside down. She was transferred to a hospital in the city for special care so they don't know where they are going to live to be close by. His cousin was trying to change careers but now probably has to go back to his old job cause it makes more money and has better benefits. His wife wil probably never be able to work cause their daughter needs full time care. And then of course the brother will have to adjust to having such a needy and sick sister. Their entire world has been turned upside down in the matter of seconds... Seconds that are supposed to be the happiest when you welcome a baby. My heart breaks for them. Please keep them in your prayers.
Friday, February 19th, 2016
8:06 pm
So far so good. Having 3 isn't all that hard. Cameron is starting to be more awake during the day now and "they say" you can start a bedtime routine at 6 weeks so I'm gonna try that. No idea what that will be but I'll figure it out. Michael and Callie are doing great! Callie loves to sing the abc song and Michael is getting good with some site words. They both love Cameron but Callie needs a little reminding not to get close or touch her... Or feed her anything lol!

Had my post partum appt and all is good. Now to somehow begin to lose thus nagging 20 pounds that won't go away!!! Argh! Even though I'm allowed to exercise my gym won't watch babies till 3 months so I won't get to workout until after my leave is over. Boo! And having no friends here and no one to motivate me sucks even more!

In addition, I spoke to the doc about mammograms. They recommend getting one 10 years prior to the age your family member was diagnosed, my mom was diagnosed at 45 and was given 6 months to live, she somehow lived for 3 years. I'll be 35 this year (holy crap I'm old) so now is the time to do it. I can't while breastfeeding so after I'm done I plan to get it done, it's scary. I just can't imagine dying and leaving my kids. I know what a struggle it was for my mom to get sick and then pass away, It just terrifies me that there is a chance I may not be around to watch my kids grow up or graduate or get married. It's not until you become a parent that you realize just how precious life is. I love the kids more thAn anything on this earth and I would do anything for them. I don't want them to go through what I did losing a parent so young. I'm actually in the process of writing some notes down. Things about my past and upbringing, things I want to share with my kids, hopes and dreams I have for them, tell them hiw much I love them and how they gave me the greates gift in the world... Being their mom. I just never know what the future holds and I would've loved something like this from my mom. So.., I just kinda put random thoughts on paper when I get a chance. Ok sorry this post got depressing quick. It's just a lot of thoughts I have running through my head and keep me up at night. Mike keeps telling me not to worry that I'm not my mom and I won't get sick and even if I do they made a lot of advances since then. But I still can't shake it. Ok off to sleep since all the kids are sleeping and who knows how long that will last.
Friday, January 8th, 2016
3:29 am
Ok writing down my birth story here so I don't forget it. It's another fast one!

Had an appt Wednesday morning. Was only 1 cm dilated. Came home, worked, waited. At 12:30am I woke up kinda crampy thinking it was just something I ate. Went to the bathroom and thought I was good but still felt icky here and there when I laid down. I felt fine when I walked around. So eventually I woke Mike and given how fast my other 2 kids were he suggested we go. I wasn't sold it was anything so I called the nurse, explained my situation and she said it could be upset colon but might as well be safe if I think it won't go away. So I walked around and Mike got dressed cause he didn't want to cut it so close with this one.

I was fine knocking on the neighbors door to watch the kids (they offered) but Mike felt bad at 2am so we woke up the kids, got in the car and went. Michael was very upset cause he didn't want me going and staying at the hospital. Callie just wanted me to hold her.

So we get there, I check in and they send me to triage. It's now 2:30. The kids are wide awake and antsy so Mike walks them around and the nurse checks me, I'm now 4 cm dilated and not going anywhere so we get my stuff and move across the hall to s room.

Michael was a bit nervous for me and of course I would have contractions and be in pain and I think it kinda freaked him out. Callie sat in the bed with me and just put her arms around me lol. The nurses we're trying to get an iv in me and hook me up to stuff and ask questions and the next contraction came and my water broke. Then I told her I think she's there I need to push and she says ok she's close but not crowning it's fine. Mike takes the kids out if the room cause they were antsy and it was getting intense. As soon he got to the door another contraction and I said I'm sorry I need to push I feel I have to push she's there and the nurse looks and looks to another nurse and tells her to get the doc.. She says she has a lot of hair, I push once and she pops out. It's 2:52. So in 22 minutes I went from 4cm to birth lol. And thank god cause natural childbirth hurt like s mother!!!!

Mike walks back in and is like omg she's here already? Ha! The nurse delivered her, cut the chord, etc and said the placenta is stil there so we have to wait for the doc. A few min later doc comes in, finishes me up and we are done!

Mike took the kids back home although Michael was so upset about leaving me. He kept wanting to see the baby and Callie would look at her, say hi baby and lean over to kiss her. Super cute!

Ok so she's been alive now just over 24 hours. I forgot how exhausting and annoying nurses coming in and having to nurse are. I'm tired and uncomfortable but she's perfect. All 5 pounds 12 ounces of her lol. She looks exactly like Michael did but darker hair. Everything else exactly the same! She pretty much latched on as soon as I first got her and she nurses every 2-3 hours just fine. ok gone finish up with her and try to sleep a little more!
Tuesday, November 24th, 2015
8:22 am
So the chiro I looked up that specializes in the Webster technique is closed this week for the holiday but I sent her an email explaining my situation and asking some questions. I got this really nice response! Wish all docs were this nice and responsive!!

Hey Jennifer, Webster technique is very effective for helping to optimize the position of the baby. The whole point of the process is to adjust your hips to allow for the most room in the canal and remove any nerve interference that could be sending the baby the wrong signals. The success rate is about 75-80% effective with certain variable that can affect that rate. I.e: the fact that you've already had two vaginal birth says that your body is capable of delivering and increases your odds, or if there's an odd malformation of the placenta or uterus that can't be detected until delivery decreases your odds but the sooner you start the best chance you have to make it happen because you have more space now to allow for a flip than you will 3-4 weeks from now. I do not do ultrasounds, we leave that to your OB but there are other ways to tell positioning and most of the time when the baby flips the mom can tell too bc your way more comfortable, have pressure on ur bladder, carry lower, feel kicking up top...
I am currently closed for the holiday week but we return next Monday at 730 am. The best thing to do is call and set up a new patient appointment and we can sit down and discuss your current situation and your options, odds, etc. Enjoy your thanksgiving and get ready to flip that baby!! ☺️ looking forward to meeting you.

PS: the worst thing you can do is stress so just relax and know you have time and options on your side.

That makes me feel a bit better lol. Still hoping she turns on her own and the doc can tell at my 34 week appt next Wednesday!!
Saturday, November 21st, 2015
7:28 pm
So ever since my 32 week appt when the doc said I was breech I have not been able to sleep. I've been searching the web (which I know is bad) and having bad nightmares. From what I've read online, most babies are head down by 32 weeks, but there is still time and that it's really by like 36 weeks when you need to be more concerned. I've been trying yoga moves I read about and just trying to will her head down.

I know there are worse things in life than having a csection and and as long as she is healthy I'm good. But seeing how this is my third and most likely last pregnancy and my other 2 were so easy I really really don't want to go this route. Plus it's major surgery and how the heck am I gonna take care of 3 kids when I can't drive or pick things up etc for a month? And my doc said she hasn't done aversion since grad school and no one does it and it's risky and painful, etc so I'm just freaking out.

So I'm looking and asking for prayers. Please pray she turns and turns soon so I can stop panicking, please pray for a safe and healthy labor and delivery too. Thanks everyone!!!
Wednesday, November 18th, 2015
3:50 pm
7.5 weeks and cointing
Wow can't believe I'll be mom to 3 in less than 2 months!!! It's totally nuts. I had an ultrasound today because once again I'm measuring small. All looks good and she will most likely be a peanut like the rest of my kids. She was also heads up and the doc said to "talk to her" to get her to move cause we may need to schedule a c section. I was like dude, I have 2 more months so plenty of time to roll around. It kinda made me nervous she jumped to c section so quickly so I hope she's not one of those docs. I have (knock on wood) had amazingly simple labors so I hope this is no exception. So think good thoughts for me!!

As for preparing.., ya We got nothing. The nursery is still mikes office with all his junk in there. His "new" office in the basement has a giant weight set that we need to get rid of somehow. Names - nope. Mike is still set on his 2 which I hate. So we have a lot of work to do lol.

I'm feeling a bit anxious though about having another. I know I had this guilt when I had Callie- will I have enough time to dedicate to her, will my other kids get the shaft, how am I going to do it all!! I already feel like a failure at life cause work is crazy and I'm not doing my best work I know, and at home I'm not the mom I "envisioned" I would be. You know... Making everything healthy and from scratch, not spending almost your entire day yelling at one or both kids about something, letting them watch way too much TV so I can sleep or relax or get them to stop whining lol. just feel like I've lost control and I wonder if I can handle it all. Everyone says these are the hardest years, with Michael going through his terrible 3s and talking back and tantrums, etc and Callie wanting to be independent so not listening to a damn thing I say. Ugh!!

Ok enough of that. Too late now lol. I should finish up work so I can get the kids lol
Wednesday, September 9th, 2015
10:39 pm
I really need to stop watching the news. There is just nothing redeeming out there. Recently Michael has entered the age of knowing the difference between lying and telling the truth. It's a natural development and it's extremely important that my kids know that honesty is the most important, and regardless of what happened, I will not be angry as long as he tells the truth. It's not a huge thing now, but I think about when he's in high school... At some party he's not allowed, drinking when he's not supposed to and I always want him to call me for help. No questions asked, he will not get in trouble as long as he tells me the truth I am always here.

But then it gets tricky when you encounter people of authority who abuse that power. You hear on the news all the time about a teacher or a coach or someone doing something inappropriate with a child. We teach our children to respect adults and do what they say, so how do they know when to draw the line? I hope to never encounter a situation like this and to always know who my kids are with, but I'm sure every parent says that and the reality is there are bad people out there and we don't even know it.

I don't actively sit at home and worry about these things, but they come to mind when news stories come out and I just freak out about how do I handle that? I'm scared to send my kids into the real world and its approaching fast! Has anyone else had these same worries? What do you plan to teach your kids or do ?
Tuesday, August 25th, 2015
7:51 am
Well I'm half baked! Although I look like I'm about to start my third trimester. I don't know why I'm gaining so much weight this time around but it's making my feel crappy about myself. Plus I'm terrified I won't lose it cause it's harder the older you get, plus with 3 kiddos getting some exercise is just gonna be hard. Boo! I feel like crud!

Other than that everything is fine. Still miss my friends in Charlotte and wish we lived there, but it is what it is. Mike is loving his job and doing awesome at it. My job is super busy but I still like the people I work with. Michael is getting so big! He's in prek now and tells me everyday he got stickers and when he had enough to go to the treasure box. Yay more crap for the house :)

Speaking of which, he is really into Xmas and totally gets it now. He has been asking me if Santa can bring him various things everyday: a scooter, a net, minion pjs, a blast board from miles from tomorrow land. I told him we would need to narrow the list down when we get closer to Xmas... Santa is a busy man. The other day he asked if we could go to the moon. I says maybe one day, then he asked how to get there so I told him now only astronauts can go and they use a rocket ship. He wants Santa to bring him a rocket ship so he can go to the moon. I tried to explain he couldn't do that but he got angry lol.

Callie is good... Having a hard time using her words... Not as advanced as Michael was at this age but I'm sure she will come around. It's prob so loud in our house that she just prefers to stay quiet lol.
Tuesday, July 14th, 2015
10:40 am
So most if not all of you know by now I'm pregnant! I'm super excited. Mike I think is a bit nervous and thinking of cost with all 3 being in daycare for some time. I'm nervous it may be a girl... Not sure I can handle double girl drama!!! But we will find out in a few weeks. Other than being just exhausted (like I could fall asleep standing up with my eyes open) in the first trimester I feel great. I'm def gaining way more this ime around. Not sure if it's cause I work at home full time so overall I just feel lazier and fatter or what. But I weigh now almost what I did at the halfway point :(. And it's just so much harder to find a way to workout with 2 kiddis (I'm not a night person and my kids are up at 5:30 so I physically can't wake up any earlier. And it's too damn hot to even go for a walk at lunch. Ugh). Plus another weird thing.., I haven't drank soda since I was mYbe 15 but ever since I had Callie I can't not drink it. I crave soda, hate water and have been drinking way more than I should ESP being pregnant again. Oops! So any working mom healthy tips are appreciated!

I haven't really told the kiddis I'm pregnant cause Callie won't get it and it's so far away for Michael. Per Michael there are only 2 time periods: yesterday and a really long time. Ha! He's at a fun age... Annoying and tantrums and talking back but also fun. He wakes up in the morning, goes into his closet and gets himself dressed. Only problem is he always picks long sleeve shirts and pants, and today 2 different color socks. I let him wear the socks but said its 96 degrees you can't wear winter clothes. He was not happy lol.

Callie is my easy kid although she is entering the stage of "I know what I want, I can't say it and it annoys me that you don't understand my grunts and that I don't get everything I want when I want it". Good times! But she is a great sleeper, was a great eater but now is on a mostly carb kick.,, hasn't eaten veggies in a few months and only has a few fruits here and there. She does eat most meat and eggs so. Any who that's it,.. Back to work!
Wednesday, June 3rd, 2015
11:30 am
So the other day there were some wicked storms and michael freaked out so I told him I like to think it's my mom in heaven bowling. Well that opened a can of worms. I haven't talked much about my mom to him but he had loads of questions.

She is in the clouds? Why is she not in the ground? Can we see her? Can we talk to her? Can we text her? What happened? How did she die?

I was totally lost. I tried to say she was in heaven in the sky but no you can't see her cause her soul is in heaven. I said I talk to her but she can't talk back but he didn't get it. He did ask to see pics of her. All of this talk really made my heart happy cause I like how interested he was and I really want him to know who she was, but I also didn't want to complicate things.., or freak him out about dying or being sick and maybe dying, etc.

So what do you say? How old till you kinda get it? How much detail do you go into at this age?
Monday, February 2nd, 2015
4:11 pm
So we moved. Been like a month now. Adjustment not so good. Michael and callie are waking several times in the night, and going up and down stairs just sucks. Michael has had a few accidents during nap at school which he hasn’t done in like a year. And callie I feel like is taken a step back since she’s in the infant 2 of 4 and they won’t move her till she’s walking, etc which she was close to doing before but now that she’s with babies she will take longer. I’m not happy that this school forces their crappy food on my kids. The food is horrible health wise, and Michael doesn’t eat it and comes home starving. I think part of the reason he is peeing is because he drinks his lunch since he doesn’t like the food there. I feel horrible because I feel like it’s my fault my kids are not thriving like they were…because WE made them move. And they were doing awesome and the school was awesome and they were eating and sleeping and doing exceptional and I took that away. I know I’m being dramatic but it’s how I feel.

The weekends are blah. We are still trying to get house stuff in order, but not having any friends to hang out with gets old. And I’m not good at meeting people and stuff. Plus I don’t even really see any parents at school when I pick the kids up.

Working from home is nice at times, but again since I have no friends it gets lonely. And because our house is at least 10-15 min away from EVERYTHING it’s not as convenient to run an errand or grab lunch or whatever. Even going to daycare that’s 20 min each way.

I miss charlotte and my friends there. We went back this weekend and it was SO MUCH FUN to hang out with friends. Michael had a blast seeing his friends and running around and that was nice. I just want to move back and I know I can’t. I know it will be at least a few more years, and even then I’m not convinced mike will get on board to come back. He likes it here, he likes his job (which is good), but he still works hard and we don’t see him every night. So not much has changed on that front. I know there are far worse things in life and all things considered, we have our health and we have our jobs and we are very fortunate. I just hate that we moved and I wish I could turn back time and change my decision. Its going to be a long several months/years L ok enough of my rant. Off to get the kiddos
Thursday, January 22nd, 2015
9:09 am
It's amazing how you forget this kinda stuff. Now that callie us 10 months I'm starting the big push towards a cup versus bottles. Currently her schedule is like this.

4:30-6:30 nurse
8:30 breakfast
9:00 bottle
11:30 lunch
12:00 bottles
3:15 bottle
4:30 oatmeal
6:45 nurse
7:00 bed

My goal is to switch these bottles to cups, and to eliminate them from being in between meals to being with the meals/snacks.

So... Basically I need advise/tips on the following:

1. Transitioning away from bottles completely. Do I just rip the bandage off and stop giving bottles or should I replace one at a time?
2. Moving milk with meals instead if in between... Again do I just give it only with meals or should I start eliminating one in between feeding and move that one to a meal? Or should I just move them all out a little later each day/week till I get him off bottles

Thanks for the support!! I'm both happy, scared, nervous and sad at the same time lol
Monday, November 24th, 2014
8:36 am
Asking for prayers that we find a great school for callie and michael to go to and that we transition well. I'm having a really hard time thinking about leaving this school and saying goodbye and I'm literally up in the night crying over it. I have no control and I feel like I'm slipping into a depressed state and not sure what to do! I'm not sure I can do this. I want to take it back but it's too late! I just want to feel happy again. So please think good thoughts for us! That everything will be ok and my kids will be better off!
Friday, November 21st, 2014
2:06 pm
Does anyone know anyone in bham? That can give personal recommendations on preschools? Thanks!
Wednesday, November 12th, 2014
3:34 pm
T minus 47 days till the big move :(. Everyday it gets closer I get sadder and sadder. I honestly didn't think it would be this hard. I never had much ties to charlotte, but especially after having kids, I liked being settled down. I finally found great friends who all had 2 kids my exact kids ages. We had play groups and birthday parties and it finally felt like "home". And since my kids spend so much time at daycare, I became heavily involved with the school and the teachers and if I had to leave my kids with anyone other thN myself I trust them and know they care for my kids second best to me.

I realize there are more important things in life, and that change is inevitable and michael and I and everyone will "be fine" but for someone who hasn't really had a place to truely call "home" in several years, to have to give it all up and start again just honestly breaks my heart and sends me into a mild panic and depression. I "know" in my head I'll find it again, but my heart still hurts and is having a hard time coming to terms with it all. And I know that by prolonging it and staying here through xmas is like ripping the band aid off slowly and making it worse. Ugh... Ok just had to write it down to get it all out. Thanks for reading!
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